Advent calendar - December 11th - Mónica K. Espinoza Cangahuala

In the Zernike Institute Advent Calendar, we are presenting 24 short spotlights in December. In these specials, we highlight PhD students, postdocs, support staff and technicians of our research groups and team - providing a glimpse in their typical day at work. In Episode 11 meet Mónica K. Espinoza Cangahuala, PhD candidate in the Theory of Condensed Matter group.

I am Mónica K. Espinoza Cangahuala, a fourth-year PhD candidate in the Theory of Condensed Matter group. I am originally from Peru, raised in Aruba, and have lived and studied in Groningen for ten years. My research focuses on understanding the self-assembly mechanisms of the pigment molecule C8S3 into nanotubes. I use both quantum and classical physical chemistry methods to model the light-matter interactions of this molecule at various stages of aggregation in solution.

For the past year and a half, I have been balancing my PhD work with caring for my mother, who is undergoing cancer treatment in Rotterdam. As a caretaker, I manage tasks such as translating (Dutch to Spanish), scheduling medical appointments, tracking medications, arranging transport, handling groceries and housework, and resolving housing issues. Juggling these demanding roles has been challenging, but it has taught me resilience, adaptability, and the value of embracing uncertainty and leaning on the support of others.

Due to my various responsibilities, no two days are the same. Some days are spent at my desk, writing code, setting up simulations, analyzing and interpreting data or preparing presentations. Other days are filled with group meetings, catching up with colleagues, discussions with experimental collaborators, or discussing ongoing projects with my supervisor. Part of my PhD work involved teaching, which I found incredibly rewarding. Preparing tutorials and computer lab sessions required time and effort, but seeing students' enthusiasm and growth throughout short projects was quite satisfying. In March our group moved to the Feringa Building and we also moved closer to our collaborators in the Optical Condensed Matter Physics group, which has encouraged impromptu exchanges of ideas and has strengthened our ongoing collaborations.

I enjoy connecting with PhD students from related fields at conferences in the Netherlands and abroad. During my PhD journey, I have delivered many talks and presented several posters. One of the most memorable moments was winning the Best Poster Prize at the KNCV CTC Symposium in Nijmegen in the spring of last year. I make a point of attending lectures and symposiums organized by Zernike and other institutes. These events make my day busier, but they give my brain a creative kick and offer new perspectives. Sometimes, I miss the hands-on chemistry lab work I enjoyed during my bachelor's project. However, theoretical research provides the flexibility I need for my personal life. On busy days, I can check emails, test codes, or monitor simulations running on the high-performance computing cluster, Hábrók, directly from my phone while commuting.

The dual challenge of pursuing a PhD while being a caretaker has highlighted some of academia's shortcomings. While the flexibility of my type of research allows me to work from a train or another city, it comes with the unspoken pressure to always stay "on." Scientific research, despite its rewards, can be overwhelming, with looming deadlines, code revisions, and email requests for updated data. Even when I am in Rotterdam, my work continues. I have prepared presentations in hospital rooms, held meetings in makeshift workspaces, and accessed Hábrók, using the often unreliable Wi-Fi in the train. However, there is a unique feeling of satisfaction when a piece of code finally works or a long simulation yields meaningful results.

As a woman and minority in the male-dominated field of theoretical physics I know representation is important. I have often found myself presenting to an all-male audience, which stands in stark contrast to the more diverse polymer chemistry group where I completed my bachelor's project. This motivated me to seek outreach opportunities early in my PhD. I've volunteered at the European Researcher's Night, delivered a guest lecture at a high school, and joined the Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) board. I want to show young women and minorities that they belong in science. However, true inclusivity also requires structural and systemic change. The current four-year PhD contracts offer little room for extraordinary circumstances, such as caregiving. Supervisors, no matter how supportive, often lack the training to navigate these challenging situations. Clearer leave policies, more funding for contract extensions, and better mental health support could make academia more inclusive and accommodating of diverse life experiences.

Outside academia, I enjoy learning the violin, reading, swimming, running, tennis, yoga, and squash. I used to run, play tennis and play squash with colleagues and hope to join them again soon. Recently, I have been focusing on yoga and reading. Yoga helps me clear my mind and manage stress, while reading provides a much-needed escape.

Despite the challenges I have faced during my PhD journey, I remain deeply passionate about my research and the community I belong to. Balancing personal and professional demands is never easy. Nevertheless, it is a challenge I am willing to embrace to help pave the way for those who come next.

See all Advent Calendar items 2024 here!