Some may love it, others might hate it, but everyone has spent at least some time there during their studies: The University Library (UB). The ‘UB’ as students call it, is like a microcosm of student life in Groningen. Life-long friendships and knowledge are being formed in this building located in the heart of the city centre. In my nearly four years of studying in Groningen, I have not only seen the UB change its looks, but also made an unofficial minor in sociology while studying for my exams there. In the following post, I will try to describe the types of genuinely annoying persons I have observed during my countless study hours there.

1. ‘The Invisibles’

Just like good weather during exam week is a fact of life, everyone also knows that the invisible ones make up the silent majority of the most annoying people you will find in the UB. Their trick? They hide their true identity, so you have no one to blame (just like the good weather during exams). The Invisibles make sure to make a short appearance when the library opens and then mysteriously disappear for the rest of the day. But don’t be fooled, they are not gone. They have made sure to reserve all of the seats by leaving all of their + their invisible friend's stuff scattered around the study area, so that you can’t find a seat when you come in at 9:30 am.

2. ‘The Businessman’

Ahh, the businessman. Typically a first year's Bachelor student studying economics or law, these lil' Warren Buffet’s stand out with their oversized suits, polo shirts and Apple watches. I’ve always wondered what these students are so busy with although they are barely 18. And where does this desire to look like a banker come from, even though the only impressive number on their account is their student debt? Luckily, this mostly seems to be a first-year phenomenon. As my own experience has shown, by the third year of law school even the last one has switched from suit pants to sweat pants.

3. ‘The Whisperer’

According to the CHEARS study, a whisper is usually characterised by its noise level of around 30 decibels as opposed to normal talking which produces around 60 decibels. Yet some people in the UB have perfected the art of whispering at a volume exceeding any acceptable decibel/ tolerance level by far. These noisy whisperers are also usually the people who talk through entire group projects in the study area to the annoyance of everyone sitting around them. Mostly, this is also the type of person that thinks it is okay to answer a phone call while sitting in the study area. Sorry to break this, but it’s totally not ok. As a rule of thumb: If you plan on talking for more than 2 minutes, just go outside. Thank you.  

4. ‘The Sicko’

The Sicko is the person you definitely want to avoid by all means when going to the UB. Dragging himself to study with a 40-degree fever, the sicko is easily identified by the constant coughing and sneezing with which he spreads all his germs around the study area. I mean I get its exams, but if you're so sick that you look like you just escaped the set of the walking dead just stay at home and cure it out, mate.

5. ‘The ‘Stretcher’

Do you know that feeling when you move your legs under the table and accidentally make contact with someone else although you're still on your own side? Congratulations, then you’ve clearly encountered a ‘stretcher’. The classical stretcher is characterised by his extremely slouched sitting position and his complete disregard for personal space. If you ever encounter one beneath the table, try to make direct eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. That usually does the trick and scares the stretcher off.

6. ‘The DJ’

I will use this opportunity to get one thing straight once and for all: Just because you are listening to music on your headphones does not mean that no one else can hear it. It’s perfectly fine if you prefer the sound levels of a techno club when studying, but personally, I see the appeal of a library in the silence it provides. Also, think about your hearing. What would your mom say if she knew what you are doing to your ears?

7. ‘The Youtuber’

The YouTuber has always been a mystery to me. There are just so many questions that pop up when you spot one. Like why do you bother coming to the UB if you’ll only be watching videos all day? Is your internet that bad at home? Why have you been watching this unboxing video for the last half an hour? How do you pass your exams? However, the only type even worse than the youtuber are those English/German/Spanish dudes illegally live streaming football on their laptop and making awkward grunting sounds when there is a close situation in the game.

8. ‘The Keyboard Warrior’

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about those people who wage a personal vendetta in the comment section of random blog posts or news articles. I’m talking about the people that seem to think that pressing a keyboard requires the downforce of a hydraulic press. Thanks to these annoying specimen who type on their laptops as if they are playing a game of whack-a-mole, the UB can sometimes sound like an off the rhythm clapstick ensemble. I mean seriously, don’t your fingers hurt?

9. ‘The Sloth’

Normal students:

UB Sloths: Take a 2-hour nap in the study area and don’t notice they are drooling all over the table.

10. ‘The Stalker’*

The ultimate list of annoying UB types ends with an all-time classic. The good news? The UB stalker does not follow you to your house or leave random messages on your voicemail. The bad news? That does not make him/her/them less creepy. The UB stalker simply stares at you whenever you walk in/out of the study area or when you are at your desk. You will often notice one by their attempt to quickly look away when you look up. Obviously, this UB creep would never even dare come up to you and talk. Instead, he/she rather leaves a cryptic and completely vague post on Instagram looking for the ‘cute girl/guy on the 4th, wearing a grey hoodie and pants’

*Do not confuse with the incidental stalker who has a weird habit of staring at people when thinking.

What types of annoying people have you encountered at the UB? Or can you even recognise yourself in one of these listed above? Let us know in the comments below!